20 Lessons of 2023: A Year of Growth, Connection, and Purpose

Thich Nhat Hanh once said that the value of our year depends on our way of living. So, as the year ends, I reflect on my life this past year and the lessons I learned from my experiences.

In this post, I share the insights I gained across the four areas that matter the most to me:

• Nurturing the mind and body
• Personal Growth
• Cultivating Meaningful Connections
• Following my purpose

Nurturing the Mind & Body in 2023

A few years ago, I committed to meditation to improve my quality of life. Training my mind through meditation to learn how to deal with life’s ups and downs became essential to me.  

Courses, spiritual talks, and practicing with a meditation community helped me deepen my practice and gain valuable insights this past year:

1. Understanding the Concept

Lessons from the Joy of Living meditation course and my daily meditation practice helped deepen my understanding of the philosophy. 

As I end each day’s meditation with the phrase, ‘May all beings have peace, happiness, and freedom from suffering,’ I remind myself that I am working for my welfare and others. The main essence of the meditation is for each person to realize their true wisdom and be their best version. 

2. Embracing Positivity in People

Mingyur Rinpoche, a Tibetan monk, points out that to feel connected with people around us, we need to understand that they want to be happy just like us. He encourages us to focus on each person’s positive qualities.

This approach taught me to look for things that unite us rather than divide us. It helped transform my relationship with every new person I encountered.

3. Dealing With Difficult People

This year, I learned about compassion meditation, which is particularly helpful in viewing difficult people. So whenever I face someone who isn’t friendly at the store or in a gathering, I give them the benefit of the doubt. I know their actions, for the most part, come from their desire to be happy and not to be hurtful. 

4. The Equanimity Practice

I learned about the practice of equanimity, which helps us understand that there is good and bad in each person. They can be wise at times but make mistakes during other times.

I learned that what we perceive is 95% in our heads and 5% based on reality. Changing our perspective about people can help us reduce our biases and be kind to everyone.

5. Working with the Body and the Mind 

While listening to a favorite podcast this year, I stumbled upon Dr. Russel Kennedy, who mentions that high-stress periods can turn into physical pain within our bodies. He talks about working with our bodies first in order to work our minds. 

This thought has led me to begin my incredible journey with yoga. Meditation and yoga have been a great way to work on my body and mind. 

Navigating the Path to Personal Growth

In 2023, I was intentional about areas I wanted to grow in, such as understanding happiness, improving my health, and learning to be my true self. In my quest, I came across some great books that have helped me blossom:

6. Choices That Lead to Happiness

The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama and Dr. Howard Cutler taught me about being conscious about making choices. To make the right choices, he talks about paying attention to circumstances that bring us suffering vs those that bring happiness.

Positive emotions like love, kindness, and compassion lead us to happiness. Negative emotions like hate, anger, and jealousy cause us suffering. 

7. Working Towards Our Inner Freedom

The Choice by Dr. Edith Eger, a holocaust survivor, has taught me that we all have a choice in how we live our lives. We have no control over what happens to us, but we can control how we live our lives.

Dr. Edith chose to deal with her pain so she wouldn’t pass it on to future generations. The book reminds us to learn from our pasts and work towards healing and inner freedom.

8. Owning Our Happiness

It is easy to blame someone else for our unhappiness. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People taught me about owning my happiness. 

We can turn any situation around by identifying what’s within our control and working on those things we can influence. We can take action based on our principles even at the cost of making difficult decisions like leaving a job or relationship.

9. Secrets to Longevity & Happiness

The book Ikigai was a short and entertaining read on Japanese secrets to longevity and happiness. Their way of living resonated with the insights I have learned in my spiritual journey.

They maintain close ties with their community, practice mindfulness to reduce stress, follow their Ikigai (purpose), adopt a positive mindset, and maintain good health by eating until they are 80% full. 

10. Fasting as a lifestyle

Fast Like A Girl, By Dr. Mindy Pelz, has transformed my relationship with food. I learned how to incorporate fasting as a lifestyle and have seen its benefits firsthand.

The book informs us of the right foods to eat based on our hormones and follow the right fasting length, which leads to transformative changes within our bodies.

11. Rediscovering Long Lost Dreams

Julia Cameron, the author of The Artist’s Way, has taught me that the lost opportunities of our childhood aren’t lost forever.

She asks if you had all the right conditions, how would you parent yourself? As adults, we can reparent ourselves and give ourselves the opportunities we missed as children. 

This attitude opened up a whole new world for me, whether learning the violin or pursuing writing as an adult.

12. Power of Journaling

Daily journaling over the past year has been an excellent way for me to deal with life. It helps me vent and heal from difficult experiences and provides clarity. It’s more than just expressing my thoughts; it’s a source of inspiration for new ideas and my companion in self-discovery.

Books like The Artist’s Way and Writing Down The Bones have great tips for making journaling a daily practice.

Cultivating Meaningful Connections

Our relationships are an integral part of our well-being. This year, my experiences taught me how to navigate loneliness from being in a new state, build meaningful new connections, and maintain existing ones. 

13. Navigating Loneliness

According to Thich Nhat Hanh, our loneliness can become fulfillment if we learn how to connect with others. My effort to feel more connected led me to take the initiative and volunteer with a senior community.

I found a friend I connect with weekly when we share our lives and have meaningful conversations about life, books, and more. It gives both of us immense satisfaction knowing that we are making a difference in each other’s lives.

14. Making Conscious Social Connections

This year, my experiences taught me to be conscious of who we spend our time with.

In his book Think Like A Monk, author Jay Shetty suggests we ask ourselves, when I spend time with this person, am I getting closer to or away from the person I want to be?

This attitude helps us choose people with shared values so we can grow together. 

15. The Power of Community

As human beings, we all crave a sense of belonging. This yearning heightened when I lost all my community after moving away from Chicago.

According to experts like Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, people in communities experience higher happiness and lower stress levels. 

My wisdom from such experts led me to connect with communities with similar values, like my meditation group and parent group, experiencing identical life struggles. 

16. Conscious Listening

I have learned that making the other person feel heard and understood is essential to develop meaningful connections.

As I build new connections and continue my meditation journey, I have developed an awareness of how I show up to others. 

I have learned that our ability to listen deeply doesn’t change overnight but requires conscious practice. Through self-reflection, we can improve our listening skills and develop deep bonds with people around us. 

Following My Purpose: Embracing the Journey

Over the past year, I have been following my purpose of helping people live better lives through my writing. As I navigate this new space, I have learned many things that have helped me grow. 

Whether you are a writer or not, anyone embarking on a new journey can apply these insights.

17. Allowing Myself to Be a Beginner

We often give up on our dreams too early when we don’t immediately see results. An article with low engagement, a loss in a game, or a poor music performance can all be discouraging.

In my journey as a budding writer, I have learned to allow myself to be a beginner. As the author Julia Cameron says, if we are willing to be bad artists, we have a chance to be an artist and, over time, a very good one. 

18. Overcoming Self-Doubt

As an introvert, sharing my work online took work. I often doubted myself, wondering if my work was good enough. Over time, I learned to be comfortable sharing my work.

With each post, I knew I was building my skills. I ignored my need for validation and realigned myself by focusing on my purpose of making a difference in people’s lives.

19. Dealing with Setbacks

Sometime this year, I didn’t write for almost three months. My personal experiences set me back, and I could get myself to write.

During this time, I realized we don’t need to let our setbacks define us. The value lies in how we evolve from each such experience. My setback taught me more about myself and the value of boundaries.

20. Process over Outcome

2023 is the year I stepped into the beautiful world of music. After being inspired by a violin performance, I decided to learn the instrument.

With violin, you must bear the uncomfortable noises for months before producing a tolerable sound. Like the writing process, my violin journey has taught me to believe in the process and trust that the results will eventually happen.

I am grateful for all the opportunities I had that helped me grow as a person. As I embark on a new year, I equip myself with wisdom from this year that I look forward to applying in 2024. 

I will continue my practice as a meditator, building tools to deal with life and sharing them with you as I go along. With an open heart and mind, I want to touch one soul at a time and inspire them to take action to live a purposeful life filled with happiness.