The Simple Ritual That Transformed My Scattered Days Into Focused Work

“Bye! Have fun,” I say to my son each morning as he heads out for school.

I never quite know how the rest of my day will unfold after he leaves. Some days, I get dressed and leave to work from a cafe. Other days, I make an elaborate breakfast and settle in front of the TV—anything to avoid writing.

By the end of each week, I’d find myself cramming everything in at odd hours to make up for lost time. I desperately needed a consistent routine, but I didn’t realize that the path toward consistency would lead to more self-awareness and clarity in my life’s transitional phase.

How Freedom Became My Biggest Challenge

Being the parent of a teen and working from home means I’m available whenever my son needs me. I’m there for a ride to doctor’s appointments, early morning gym sessions, or when his school ends early.

The ever-changing schedule doesn’t allow me to follow a consistent daily routine. However, after years of working in corporate, I didn’t realize how dependent I was on the structure it provided.

With my new identity as a writer, everything was free-form. I was in charge of my schedule. But I needed to shift my mindset and redefine what a working day looked like. For instance, I needed to:

1. Let go of the 9-5 concept and embrace a schedule that fits my lifestyle.
2. Stop feeling guilty about starting work late after a workout.
3. Get used to working in focused blocks and taking breaks to parent.

It Wasn’t Just About the Routine—It Was About Who I Was Becoming

Even with the inconsistencies in the daily routine, I still needed a routine that wired my brain into work mode.

I described my challenges to ChatGPT, a.k.a my unofficial advisor, and together, we brainstormed a flexible morning ritual. I went back and forth with it, providing more information on my life and habits and questioning its suggestions. We finally landed on something that works for me.

During this process, I realized something unexpected: my procrastination—through TV or food—wasn’t laziness. It was fear. Fear of venturing into uncharted territory as a writer. I sought comfort in them to deal with self-doubt, fear of failure, and perfectionism.

Then, in the middle of a dialogue with ChatGPT, it revealed something profound:

“Self-sabotage is part of the transformation. You’re not broken—you’re in transition.”

I’m in transition? Why hadn’t I thought of it that way before?

Instead of beating myself up for not being more productive, I needed to realize that all transitions take time. It takes time to figure out what you are doing when building something new.

Even though I was distracting myself, part of me still paid attention to my patterns and behaviors. I knew I needed to change the environment and step away from built-in home distractions of food and binge-watching.

I needed to create a routine that supported my new life—One that treated writing as a full-time job with flexible hours, not just something I squeezed in when life allowed it.

A Workday That Works for Me

My new routine involves a customized schedule depending on my morning. After my son leaves, I boil a kettle of tea and bring it to my room as a daily ritual that helps me shift into work mode.

I sit at my desk with my tea and begin by writing in my ideas book. I remember the weekly intention and reflect on what I want to focus on for the day. Some days, the physical act of writing in the book helps me develop new content ideas.

After a few minutes, I get dressed for the day and leave for the cafe.

I work from there for a few hours, journaling and developing new content. I have lunch at one of the restaurants next to the cafe and take a short walk before finding a new place to work for the afternoon.

Moving from one location to another reminds me of those in-between moments in corporate life—walking with coworkers to grab lunch.

Working from a couple of different places reminds me of how we moved from one conference room to another for meetings. My mind can’t help but find parallels between the old me and the new me.

More Than a Schedule: A New Way of Being

In building my new routine, I gained a deeper understanding of myself and how important it is to honor life’s transitions. I realized that I didn’t just quit my job; I quit who I was in corporate.

I wasn’t procrastinating with food and TV—I was becoming a new version of myself. It isn’t laziness, it’s growth.

Sometimes, wisdom shows up in the most unexpected places. My experience taught me to be kinder to myself during transitions.

How do you deal with transitions or identity shifts in your life? What was your process of coming to terms with it? It could be going from a full-time job to a full-time mom or switching to new careers.

Let’s share each other’s journey and support one another.