Self Improvement

Who Will Catch You When You Fall? Building the Support You Don’t Have

Who will catch you when you fall? I don’t mean literally, but when things get difficult and you stumble, do you have someone who has your back?

Sometimes life is beyond our control, and we need someone else to step in so we can get back on our feet.

When I had my son, my mother stayed with me for a month and took care of me while I cared for him. She made sure I ate and helped me walk again when I could barely stand up after my C-section.

A therapist can provide emotional support, but they can’t come over with dinner or pick up our children from school when we can’t.

When life knocks us down, we need both kinds of support — someone to listen to us and someone to step in and help carry the load.

Why Support Systems Matter

I can’t imagine navigating some of life’s challenges without my support systems. When I tried to handle things completely on my own in the past, everything felt much harder.

This experience helped me see how isolation, past trauma, or lack of support can make life’s challenges much harder to navigate alone.

I’ve noticed that friends who had the support of their parents, faith, or close friends seemed to navigate life’s challenges more easily.

It’s impossible for humans to feel secure after childbirth, a job loss, a divorce, or a death if we don’t have someone looking out for us. We all want to feel loved and safe.

Depending on where you are, building a support system can be easy or a real challenge.

Community vs Individualistic Cultures

In some community-oriented cultures, your support system is already in place. Growing up in India, I’ve seen my aunts and uncles show up for my parents whenever they need them. They also had friends who would show up if they ever were in a tough period.

It was ingrained in me that we need one another for survival. As an adult, I craved independence and wanted my privacy, but I also understood the value of having a support system in place.

In individualistic cultures like the US, finding a support system isn’t always easy, especially if you’re far from home and starting from scratch. Now that I’ve moved to another state, I find myself doing that all over again.

When family isn’t enough or available, we have to consciously build support networks outside of it.

Building a Support System Beyond Family

Our support system doesn’t always have to be our family. Sometimes families cause more damage than good, whether through childhood trauma, triggers, or a lack of emotional support.

If that’s the case, then it helps to build an external circle of friends. I did this when my son was little.

My neighbors watched my son play in the yard while I got dinner ready, picked him up from school when I couldn’t, and offered a shoulder when I had a hard day at work. I knew I could count on them at any time.

How to Build a Support System

Building a support system doesn’t happen automatically. It takes conscious effort and showing up for each other.

Even if you’ve moved away from old friends, it’s possible to form connections with new people. You’ll need to invest in their lives, be there when they’re low, and show up for them multiple times before they’re ready to show up for you.

You Don’t Need an Army

Do you have people who will catch you when you fall? It doesn’t have to be a whole army, but a few who care and will step in when life knocks you down.

Who are those people for you?

Will you try this?

  • Reach out to someone close and share something real.
  • Name someone you could reach out to if you needed advice or encouragement.
  • Hit reply and share your support list — I’d love to hear!
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Shilpa Kapilavai is a writer, meditator, and former IT professional passionate about personal growth and helping others live happy lives. She writes about self-help, mental health & mindfulness and aims to inspire readers to open their minds to self-discovery and make positive life changes. Join her on this journey towards a more meaningful life.