The One Key Factor In Being Successful With Your Co-Workers

As humans, we all have an innate feeling to help others. Knowing that we made a difference makes us happy. As we gain more experience, we want to share our skills with our co-workers. We want to influence them. We want to solve problems. 

We forget one basic thing in this process. We forget the importance of building relationships. We treat people as if their whole identity is based on what they do at their work. We look at them as Engineers, Product Managers, and Analysts instead of as fellow humans. 

Fellow humans who share the same journey as us. Going through the same things such as falling in love, raising children, losing a loved one, etc. It’s the human connection that brings us closer. 

When we are in a rush to influence others without taking the time to build a connection, it rarely works. We are met with resistance or end up with unmotivated team members.  

In my experience, I came across many people who dive right in. They get straight into improvements and suggestions without learning the people. I worked backward with such folks by building a relationship. Educating them about me and the team. It was an important step so there is mutual trust.

If you want to create true influence, it starts with people, not projects. We need people to be successful. We need to rely on one another for true success.

Titles alone don’t make people listen to you. It’s knowing that you care about them. Knowing that it’s safe for them to be open around you. That you have their best interests. 

Next time you meet a new co-worker or join new on an existing team, start with a genuine attempt to get to know them. Some things you can try:

1. Introduce yourself with something other than your title. I am a mother, a dog lover, a runner, etc. 
2. Ask about the other person. Have you always lived in the area? What is your favorite free time activity? 
3. Set up a 1:1 to get to know each other if possible. 
4. Find out about their past work experiences.
5. Keep it open. Let them know of your background and that they can rely on you. Trust builds over time. 

What has worked for you on your journey? Share your wisdom with this community.