The Importance Of Belonging To A Community & Building One Wherever We Are

In one of his talks about finding a true home, Thich Nhat Hanh said that your home is not located in a particular space or time. He says you can find your home everywhere you go. Per him, every step and breath can bring you home to your present moment.

To me, home and community are closely related. A few years ago, I moved to a new state. The move shed an unexpected light on the importance of community. 

It’s hard to realize the community’s importance when surrounded by it. Growing up in India, I didn’t realize I belonged to a wide community of family and friends. I didn’t know any different. A rich tradition of festivals brought us all together numerous times in a year. 

When I moved to the US, I found myself among a community of friends. We bonded over similar challenges and milestones we accomplished together, like buying our first cars, first homes, and first full-time jobs. 

When we bought our first home, I didn’t realize we had gained something far more precious than owning a home. We gained a community of neighbors who became our family. 

For over a decade, we had seen our children cry and laugh together and spent several Halloweens, easter egg hunts, and fall festivals together. We relied on each other to get through difficult days. 

Importance Of Community

Since our move, I have been having a difficult time with the concept of home. Beyond the attachment to our old physical home, this move came with the loss of communities and connections that had been made over the last two decades. Until then, I didn’t realize how lucky I was to be a part of such loving communities. 

Then slowly, in the post-pandemic era, something incredible started to happen. It was the slow emergence of new communities through new connections. 

This made me realize the need for belonging, especially in the modern world, where a lot of us stay far away from our close friends and family. 

We need a community to share significant holidays and celebrate key life milestones. 

In dealing with the loss of old connections, I didn’t realize that sometimes it’s on us to embrace the community around us and create it wherever we go. We can take our old memories and build new ones on top of them. 

Creating A Community Wherever We Go

With so many conversations happening over zoom, the need for physical connection in a post-pandemic world is crucial. This can occur right where we are. We can create a community with our co-workers and our neighbors and a community based on our common interests (spirituality, fitness activities, etc.). 

Thich Nhat Hanh said that through community building, we can create the kind of power and energy that helps us deal with the enormous difficulties we are now facing. 

Instead of waiting to be accepted, we can create a community wherever we are. We can welcome people with open arms, the ones who think alike and those who don’t. We all have something to bond with people over, whether through our children, our work, or our shared interests. 

Developing Skills To Create A Loving Community

Doug Shipman was the founding CEO of the National Center for Civil and Human Rights for many years. As a white man, who grew up in a small town in Arkansas, Doug recalls one of his experiences as a college student. He visited an African American church for the first time only to realize that they sang the same songs as he did in his family church. 

When the members saw the 18-year-old Doug singing along, their curiosity led to further conversations. His future visits created an opportunity for deeper engagement within the community, which led to Doug studying African American culture professionally. In one of his TEDx talks, Doug discusses the secret to creating a beloved community. 

To build a community, he says we must develop our capacity to love our neighbor. The ones that live near us and the ones that don’t. To do so, we need to develop an essential set of attributes:

True Respect For Otherness: One of the key attributes includes showing genuine respect for others and their differences while maintaining our authenticity in the process. Instead of trying to agree with their interests to fit in, Doug talks about showing genuine curiosity about their background and interest.  

Listening With Our Hearts: Doug talks about needing to listen with our hearts to engage people who are very different from us and come from very different situations. 

Authenticity But Flexibility Of Behavior: Doug shares the importance of being flexible with our behavior when we are new to a community. Being flexible in a way that aligns with the community’s values can help create a strong connection. 

Staying Connected In An Isolated Society

In a world where it’s easily possible to spend an entire weekend by ourselves, human connection and conversations are essential to feeling rejuvenated. 

When embracing a new community or neighbor, it helps to remember that each of us is going through the same things in life. We celebrate similar milestones and suffer losses the same as others. 

All are welcome. All are accepted in this journey of life with us. Each one teaches you something. Help you grow and shape you into the person you don’t imagine you would be. 

We keep growing, collecting friends, and making connections as though they are treasures of this world. We need each other. To ensure we don’t feel lonely, empty, and lost in the world where we live away from our families, friends, and other loved ones. 

Have you been part of communities that shaped your life? Do share your experience.