The Importance of Adult Friendships: Why We Need Them More than Ever

As adults, we are often caught up in our busy lives, juggling multiple responsibilities of managing our careers and parenting. As a result, it can be easy to overlook the importance of maintaining close friendships. But as I have learned from my own experience, our connections with our friends can play an invaluable role in our lives, providing us with the joy and emotional support we need to navigate our lives. 

In this article, I will share my story of reconnecting with an old friend, explore the benefits of maintaining close friendships as adults, and discuss the importance of investing in these relationships.

Navigating Friendships among Life’s Transitions

In high school, a girl in my class caught my eye. I was annoyed at how loud and attention-seeking she was. Gradually, as we got to know each other better, she grew on me, and we became good friends. I was the quiet one, and she an extrovert. I could be at a gathering with a room full of strangers yet be totally at peace if she was around. She could understand me without me having to use many words.

As with most friendships, ours faded as our physical distance grew. I tried to keep in touch when I moved to the US. Despite the distance, the best part was how we felt around one another, even after being apart. 

Our bear hugs whenever we met made the gap insignificant. We would forget our surroundings and be our silly old selves again. At my wedding, she ran around town, shopping for all the last-minute things I needed. Looking at how much I relied on her and how involved she was, one of my aunts remarked, ‘Wow, these are the kind of friends we all need in life.‘

But when we became mothers, our lives changed, and we could no longer prioritize each other. Our budding careers and kids took up most of our time, and there wasn’t any room to consider our needs. 

As my child grew older and became more independent, my need for close friendships heightened. It wasn’t enough to socialize as a family; I was missing a personal connection. I needed something more, something of my own.

Our Longing for Connection

My busyness in life didn’t make up for my longing for a deep and meaningful connection. Only after reconnecting with my friend did I realize what a difference it has made in my life. I was happier. I was whole again. Having her empathize with me, and validate my emotions, was all I needed to help me get through difficult days.

We quickly became each other’s support system. Those long WhatsApp calls with her helped me get through the pandemic isolation and deal with the loneliness of relocating to a new state and starting my life from scratch. 

No matter how close I am to my partner or child, my bond with my friends has always been irreplaceable. They play a unique role that no one else can fill and enhance my life for the better.  

Benefits of Adult Friendships

Reduces Our Stress Levels

In the book Fast Like a Girl, Dr. Mindy Pelz talks about the impact of oxytocin (a.k.a. The love hormone) on our well-being. We get a dose of oxytocin from hugging, talking to our best friends, and having deep, meaningful conversations.

Dr. Pelz shares that when oxytocin is on the scene, it tells your brain that we are safe and loved and that the crisis is over. When I am having a difficult day, I ask myself, who can I talk to that change my mood? I could be very worked up about a conversation but laugh it off when retelling the story to my friend. 

Your Biggest Cheerleaders

Your close friends can be your biggest cheerleaders. My closest friend has been supportive of me in my new creative journey, cheering me every step of the way and believing in me on days when I doubted myself. ‘You are making an impact,’ she would say, even if it is on a few people. 

A good friend supports you on your path to success, but they are not motivated by your success. They are here for you regardless of your career success; they are here for you because you were there for them, and you make them laugh. 

Creates the Right Balance in Your Life

Relying on close friendships can create the right balance in our lives. For example, instead of always seeking advice from your partner, discussing issues with your friends can give you a fresh perspective. 

My conversations have helped me navigate difficult job situations and relationship issues and provided support in parenting. A good friend can point out all possibilities without influencing your decision.  

Sets a Positive Example for Our Children

As a child, I wondered why mom never made time for her friends. She could not prioritize it in her life, given her commitments. But as an adult, I can see how much friends like mine would have helped her get through difficult stages of life. 

My son sees me stay in touch with my closest friends, prioritize their birthdays, and have long conversations. He sees a side of his mother that only shines when talking to friends. By prioritizing friendships, we indirectly show our children how friendships can mature over time and endure the tests of life.

Maintain Close Friendships For A Fulfilling Life

Close friends might come in many forms: college friends, neighbors, or siblings. They are someone with whom you can be fully yourself.

Find time in your lives for people like these and invest in those relationships, for they will add color to your lives in a way others haven’t been able to. They give you the fuel you need to chase your goals and deal with life’s ups and downs. They can be your rock, your cheerleaders, and the key to your well-being. So, reach out to that old friend and make time to reconnect to live a happier, more fulfilling life.