The Best Valentine’s Gift? A Partner Who Brings You Balance

‘You can be whatever you want to be; I am here to support you,’ said my husband during one of our conversations. I often take his support for granted. You see, I haven’t known any different. I moved to the US in my early twenties, away from my family and my closest friends back home. I had to find emotional support somewhere. I never thought I could do it all alone; I didn’t want to do it all alone.

When I think of what I would need in a partner, I think of someone reliable, someone who has my back. These are non-negotiable terms. I’m not asking for too much. These are the bare minimum. 

Yet, I come across many people with partners they can’t rely on. Some can’t rely on them for emotional support, some for housework or parenting.

Every relationship is different, but what troubles me most is when strong women don’t hold their partners accountable – When they hesitate to ask for meaningful conversations or support that can bring balance to their lives.

Is it because they are accepting traditional roles of women? Or are they afraid of an awkward conversation resulting in an argument?

The thing is, nothing about today’s world is traditional. Women are spending most of the day working. But they have more work at home than their partners.

So, instead of confronting and asking their partners to step up, they cave in and lift the heavy load. They are finding other options for the lack of emotional support from girlfriends.

It is great to have girlfriends, and I am lucky to have a few that always have my back. But why can’t our partner provide the same support? If they are not the ones we call when we are upset, what is their role in our lives?

Getting emotional support in a relationship isn’t optional. It is an essential requirement. Raising children is not a one-person job. When my partner is away for a long time, I feel tired and on the edge. I am relieved when he returns because I know I can count on him.

When you have balance, both partners have time and space to work on their dreams and goals and support their children.

Should the scale in a relationship always tip to one side? Shouldn’t it shift depending on the phase of your life? Whatever your relationship’s patterns, they don’t have to be permanent.

As you approach Valentine’s Day, think beyond gifts. Ask for the support you need from your partner. The best gift a woman can receive is a supportive partner who vouches for her and is willing to do what it takes to bring balance and joy to her life.

‘If we live in a family or community where there’s a culture of being understanding and compassionate with each other, we’ll naturally be more peaceful and loving. Children growing up in such an environment will learn to be caring and kind.’ 

Thich Nhat Hanh