Share Your Setbacks In Life To Help Others Overcome Their Own

I have often seen people share their successes but not their failures, including me. My past few experiences made me wonder about setbacks and their attached stigma. In this post, I talk about what it means to normalize our setbacks. 

I was always introverted and never really shared about things that might make me look bad. However, I have become more open about my setbacks in the past few years. I have embraced vulnerability and have started to share experiences, both good and bad. 

One thing that drives me to do so is that a wrong choice or one setback doesn’t define who I am. So I have let go of this need for perfection and accepted myself for the growing person that I am.

The Emotions Behind Setbacks

We constantly see social media posts about people getting new certifications, jobs, and promotions. We see them post about the successes of their loved ones. 

What I don’t often see is when someone experiences a setback. In my experience, the aftermath of setbacks comes with an overwhelming range of emotions. 

Almost a year ago, I interviewed for Google. It was for a very competitive position, and I knew people take months to prepare for it and attend many mock interviews. I only had a few weeks to prepare for it, but I didn’t want to pass it up since they approached me. 

As I approached the interview, my body physically started showing me that I wasn’t ready for it. I was feeling sick in my stomach and got extremely sweaty during a mock interview with a coach. 

It was my body telling me I wasn’t ready for it. I have been in situations where I was nervous on the job before. But this was a different kind of anxiousness. It was more about being the wrong fit.

I didn’t know how to read those signs then, so I proceeded with the interview. I ended up not doing very well. 

Although disappointed, I felt relief at the end of the experience. Looking back, I realized I was going for something challenging and reputable but not one along the path I wanted to pursue longer term. 

Sharing Setbacks Along With Your Successes

In the past, when I shared my experience of choosing to leave a job, I heard from numerous people. I heard about how they found it relatable, how they experienced the same issues, how it validated their choices, etc.

When you see someone attempt something courageous, it becomes relatable. You think, maybe I can do it too. Similarly, when we share our failures openly, we make them common. We make it ok to fail. 

We learn how to pick ourselves up and move on. We don’t let one bad article, interview, or college rejection stop us from working toward our dreams. 

In a world where parents often post their children’s achievements, it’s hard to know when someone experiences setbacks. But they must have dealt with their share of setbacks to achieve something. 

As a parent, witnessing your child struggle with setbacks is heartbreaking. Unfortunately, I have experienced this firsthand. Whether it is making it to a sports team or dealing with poor performance, each setback has its importance. 

I heard in a podcast that successful people have failed the most because they have put themselves out there more than anyone else. They have figured out how to get back up, dust themselves off, and keep moving forward. 

We mostly hear about their setbacks once they are very successful. What if we shared our setbacks along our path to success?

Understanding When To Share Your Setbacks

When I experienced a setback like a job loss or a rejection, I was not always willing to share the experience immediately. I needed to process the self-doubt and figure out what went wrong before allowing other chatter.  

Giving ourselves the time we need before we are ready to share is essential. Of course, one doesn’t have to share. But if you do share your setbacks, it probably does not hurt your chance at success. 

We may not be willing to share every aspect of our lives. But normalizing failures whenever you can by openly talking about them gives others courage and hope. 

It gives hope to other adults going through the same emotions. Hearing about other kids makes it ok to put themselves out there. 

I hope this article resonates with you. If it did, please do share your life experiences.