How to Pursue Big Goals Without Stressing Out

We all have goals and dreams we want to achieve. But when we are too focused on reaching them, life can feel stressful and out of balance.

Do you ever stop and think about the point of it all? What if we focused on the meaning behind our goals, rather than just chasing outcomes?

Does this sound familiar? It’s definitely me.

My work by nature requires me to share it publicly. Even when I write with good intentions, I sometimes get caught up in the numbers.

After a few minutes of scrolling, my body tenses up, and I can feel the rising heat inside. Even if the metrics are good, it’s exhausting to constantly seek validation. It distracts me from being in a flow state, where I could continue to learn and write without worrying about the outcome.

I love what I do, but this restlessness made me seek wisdom that gave me the grounding I needed.

The Wisdom I Found

1. Being Present with Our Goals

Recently, I was part of a retreat where someone in the audience asked Eckhart Tolle how to be present while planning for the future and working toward their aspirations.

Eckhart said it’s natural to have goals, but if we focus only on the outcome, we lose connection to ourselves — and that’s what creates stress.

“Be fully present in whatever you do,” he said. “If it’s all about the end result, you leak energy.” Instead, bring your attention to the quality of each step you take.

His message was clear: Nothing is more important than the present moment. The goal is to be present with every step that you take and enjoy it.

2. Making Sure Your Goals Fit Your Life

For a long time, I worked in jobs where I gave my all. I woke up anxious each day, wondering what I would find in my inbox.

Being utilized by the higher-ups felt like a privilege, but looking back, it was just unhealthy. I was always at the beck and call, having to drop everything and tend to urgent requests.

As we pursue our goals, we can ask ourselves a few basic questions:

Are my goals and the actions required to achieve the goals compatible with who I am?
Is the environment suitable, or is it toxic?
Am I enjoying what I am doing? We don’t have to give up the minute we hit a roadblock, but if we continue not to enjoy the journey, then we may not be on the right path.

3. Focusing on the journey

Eckhart discusses how, when people set out on a pilgrimage, the most important part is not reaching the destination. It’s how the arduous journey itself transforms you and how you are present at every stage.

His example reminded me of my own marathon training, how it’s never just about the race day.

Because of my tendonitis, I abandoned the traditional training plan and created one that better suited my needs. I run as much as my feet allow me to, alternating between walking and running.

Instead of zoning out to music, my tendon pain forces me to be fully present throughout the run. My only goal is to run pain-free as much as possible so I can show up for the next run. I stretch, ice, and do whatever it takes to allow me to continue with my training.

So, every new mile I reach on my plan feels like a personal victory. I am not only strengthening my body but also building the discipline I need.

Of course, it’s nice to receive a medal at the finish line, but what would stay with me the most is the preparation that went into the process.

Applying the Insight

In my writing practice, craving the outcome feels shallow; I can feel my energy leaking, and my focus split between wanting to do good and look good.

Rather than writing for likes and comments, if I focus on daily writing practice, reading, and spiritual growth, the content I produce will automatically reflect that.

To write in a way that resonates with people, I need to bring the same marathon training focus to my writing, where the focus is on quality, not outcome. This sometimes means uninstalling social media apps during the week so I can go inward.

Whether it is writing or running, if you don’t enjoy the journey, it’s hard to enjoy the result.

Bringing It All Together

Whatever you are striving for, ask yourself if you are present every step of the way and truly enjoying the process. Does the path align with who you are?

What’s the point of reaching a goal if you lose yourself getting there? When you’re present and enjoy the process, the result becomes just a byproduct of your effort.

True success is achieving our goals without losing ourselves along the way.

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