How to Make the Right Choices That Lead Us to Happiness

We make numerous choices each day, but not every choice of ours brings us joy. What if you knew the secret to making choices that lead us to happiness? 

I stumbled upon such a secret while reading the book, ‘The Art of Happiness.’ In the book, the Dalai Lama shares a simple yet profound question that guides us toward better choices.

In this post, we talk about making choices that lead to happiness, how to tell them apart from those that don’t, and the importance of training our minds to be able to do so. 

Decoding Life’s Choices: Learning to Differentiate

Not every choice we make in our lives is simple. For instance, we know we could get seriously hurt if we ignore a red light. We know that touching fire will burn our fingers. 

These are simple choices in life. We learn them by noticing others while growing up or through our experiences.

Some choices, on the other hand, are harder to tell if they are good for us. They may be good at the time but harmful in the long run. 

I wish someone taught us these differences while we were at school. Along with science, math, and history, I wish we learned about choices.

But, Unfortunately, there is no life subject in the school curriculum. As we grow older and are no longer in the care of our parents, we learn about our choices through a process of trial and error in life.  

I know I have ventured down this path in my life. Whether selecting the wrong job, befriending the wrong person, or even something seemingly insignificant, such as making an unhealthy dietary choice, each decision became a lesson. 

I made each choice, reflected on the consequences, and learned from each experience.  

But what if, instead of diving right in, we had the wisdom to tell the difference between a good or a bad choice for all those difficult choices we have to make in life? That’s what I stumbled upon in the book, ‘The Art of Happiness.’ 

The Dalai Lama’s Wisdom on Making Right Choices

In explaining the concept of choices and happiness, the Dalai Lama says that the boundary between a positive or negative action is not if it gives us immediate satisfaction but whether it ultimately results in positive or negative consequences. 

When in doubt about a particular choice, he says to ask if it brings us happiness or pleasure. Happiness is stable, but pleasure is inconsistent and temporary, according to him. 

According to him, there are no easy solutions to avoiding pleasures like drugs, alcohol, sex, or gambling, but we can keep in mind that what we are seeking in life is happiness.

When we approach our choices with this in mind, giving up things that are ultimately harmful to us is easier, even though they bring momentary pleasure.

He says it is so difficult to say no to these things because we feel we are giving up or denying ourselves something. To help us with such complicated choices, he provides us with a simple question that can help us make the right choice.

Whenever we face such choices, he says, we must ask ourselves, ‘Will it bring me happiness?’. This simple question can help and guide us in all areas of our life.

This perspective helps us in making the right choices because we are acting to give ourselves something rather than denying ourselves something. 

Dalai Lama calls it an attitude of moving forward rather than moving away, an attitude of embracing life rather than rejecting it. 

Training the Mind for Happiness

According to the Dalai Lama, making choices that lead to happiness does not come naturally to us. Just like we go to school to learn new skills and become successful in life, we must train our minds about what brings happiness and suffering. 

To make the right choices, we must first learn about the circumstances that bring us happiness vs suffering. 

Positive emotions like love, compassion, and kindness lead us toward happiness. Whereas negative emotions like hate, anger, and jealousy cause suffering. They destroy our happiness. They impact not only us but the people around us. 

By learning and analyzing such thoughts and emotions that enter our minds, we can develop a will to change and develop an inclination towards those that cause happiness. 

Shifting Perspective: Navigating toward Happiness

Embracing the concept of making choices that lead to happiness has directed me toward a happier and healthier life.

It has helped me deal with my sweet tooth that cost me my well-being. I had always enjoyed a treat now and then. But during the pandemic, I leaned on this habit more than usual. 

Over time, I grew fatigued and discovered that my choices led me to become pre-diabetic. Genes had a significant role, but my choices definitely played a part. 

Through research and the help of my doctors, I learned more about insulin resistance and the damage it was doing to my body. 

The next time I saw something delicious, I learned to ask myself if indulging in that special treat would bring me happiness or pleasure. The answer was obvious. 

I was more invested in my long-term health than the immediate gratification. With this attitude, desserts didn’t tempt me any longer, and I could reverse my pre-diabetic state.

Dalai Lama emphasizes that the more we train and educate our minds, the more successful we will be in navigating life and making the right choices for us. 

So, as you journey through life, be mindful of what you cultivate within yourself. Are your emotions steering you toward happiness or suffering? 

When faced with non-trivial choices, ask, ‘Will it bring me happiness’? Whether it’s navigating a challenging job or reconsidering a relationship, this question can guide you toward a happier and more joyful life. 

A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering.

– Dalai Lama