Everything Changes: How to Find Peace in Life’s Unpredictability

Were you ever disappointed because things didn’t turn out the way you wanted? I have. Maybe you were let down by a friend or a boss, and it changed things for you.

Change is tricky. It’s hard to adapt and get on with things. In my experience, the more we cling to how things should be, the more we struggle. I have been learning about change in my meditation, which has helped me process things better. It’s about how everything in our lives is always changing. They call it impermanence.

It sounds simple, right? If we can only accept that nothing in the world remains the same, it should make our lives much more manageable. But, like all skills, accepting change as a natural part of the world also takes practice.

Understanding the Changing Nature of Life

When I first heard about Impermeance, I wondered why anyone didn’t tell me about it sooner. Wouldn’t it have made life a lot easier?

It’s harder for me to accept changing situations during difficult times. When anything unexpected happens, like losing a close relationship or changes in a job, it feels intense, like the end of the world.

‘It isn’t right. Why did they behave this way? I wish someone told me about this sooner so I can avoid this pain’. These are just some things that come to mind during challenging situations.

But it is impossible to predict all life changes. The only thing we can do is know that change in people or situations is normal. Kids grow up; people get married, and they leave their jobs and partners they have been with forever.

I like how my meditation teacher, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, explains this concept. Life is like a stock market. It goes up and down constantly. But we usually crave consistency and stability. We resist change. And when situations change, we worry and get scared.

Even though Rinpoche has been meditating for decades, he still experiences things similar to ours. He tries his best to make things meaningful in his work. But things always don’t go his way. However, He doesn’t get attached to the results, which makes him more peaceful.

So, how do we incorporate it into our lives as he does?

How Do We Embrace Impermanence?

To understand this concept, we need to realize that change happens at a continuous level and also at a subtle level.

Rinpoche explains that there is continuous impermanence, where things change continuously—like one job beginning after the other, going to college after graduating high school, ending and starting new relationships, etc.

We should also pay attention to other kinds of change that are more subtle and immediate. Changes in our bodies, our blood circulation, generation of new cells, breathing, etc., all fall under this category.

Understanding that things are constantly changing makes us open, flexible, and more peaceful. Practicing the impermanence meditation is a great way to learn this skill.

Impermanence Meditation

Begin meditation by sitting in a comfortable, upright manner. Take a few deep breaths.
Start by noticing how the sensations in your body are constantly changing.
Bring your attention to the environment around you, the sounds you hear, the lighting, etc.
Next, focus on your mind and the thoughts you are having. Notice how the thoughts are constantly changing. Notice how the language attached to your thoughts changes from one to another.
Notice that the world around you constantly changes, including the weather, seasons, etc.
Let go of your analysis and end your meditation.

Finding Comfort in the Change

Learning and understanding the ever-changing nature of life takes time and practice. Knowing about the changing nature of life helped me develop a broader view of things. When I get upset about something, I know I won’t feel so strongly about it a year later. This outlook toward life makes me feel comfortable and changes how I react. It helps put things into perspective.

The next time you face a challenging situation, remember that change is part of life. Nothing ever stays the same.

When our perception of impermanence remains steady, then we can begin to close the gap between how we think things ‘should’ be and how they actually are.

Mingyur Rinpoche