Making The Difficult Choice To Quit My Job

Some time ago, I made a tough decision to quit my job. Although wrapped in a beautiful casing of big company perks, I was suffering inside. 

It meant letting go of external factors that didn’t matter. Things like big logos on your resume, stock options, and other benefits. It meant prioritizing what was best for me.

In this blog post, I share my experience. The intent is not to bring anyone down. It is about having the courage to stand up for your values and knowing when to move on.

My career has offered me various experiences as an IT professional and a Montessori teacher. It was a combination of highs and lows, mainly because of the people I worked with. 

In the jobs I have held, I have reported to folks at the executive level and those who were learning the ropes. Each has its pros and cons, offering learning opportunities one way or the other. 

Many years in corporate teaches you how to spot right from wrong. You understand what you can tolerate and what you cannot. You learn what you shouldn’t be accepting. What worked for you as an entry-level professional no longer works as years go by.

My experience taught me that you could deal with a manager at any level but not one that doesn’t serve you. You ignore all the warning signs and make it work like in a bad relationship. Before you know it, you realize it has seriously impacted your mental well-being.

Leading Up To The Choice

I had a new manager at work. I was excited about all I could learn. However, the subtle remarks and old-school leadership started to wear me down over time. 

Reporting to a manager that didn’t hire you is always work. They didn’t pick you, and you didn’t choose to report to them. It can get exhausting if you know you have been good at your job but have to prove yourself all over again and gain trust. But, unfortunately, that can be the way of corporate sometimes. 

The words people use matter. In my case, they were hurtful. I began to question myself and my self-worth in just a few months. I started to notice preconceived notions and biases and the belittling tone. 

The cheerful, confident me turned into an anxious, self-doubting person. My spirits were low, and all joy was sucked out of my life. I stopped writing! I couldn’t get myself to write in that state of mind. 

Under normal circumstances, I think the right option would be to look for another job and move on. However, for me, despite working with a therapist for some time, things didn’t work out that way. 

I had reached a point where I couldn’t continue to make it work. I knew what I needed to do, but I wasn’t that person anymore. 

Wisdom Comes With Experience

In the beginning, our understanding of the corporate world is limited. We are willing to do anything to get that promotion, get that raise. We do not have the wisdom to spot right from wrong. So we compromise our values to get ahead, mainly because we don’t know our values yet. 

I had experiences where I lost work relationships because I got caught up in being part of the inner circle. If I had the awareness, I would have stood my ground and prioritized people who mattered, even at the cost of lost opportunities. Instead, you get caught up impressing the wrong kind of leaders, making choices you wouldn’t otherwise make. 

One thing you gain from experiences is wisdom. You know how to spot genuine people. You know how to spot people whose values don’t align with yours. 

In my case, I had to make a choice – that I wouldn’t go backward in my personal growth. I wouldn’t compromise on being the strong and authentic woman I had become. 

I chose to stand up for myself, articulate my issues and move on. I decided to want to surround myself with people who bring positivity into my life. It wasn’t easy!

A Giant Leap

Being the introverted person I always was, I had to work hard to learn to voice my opinion. Eventually, it became second nature. I felt like there was a giant leap from voicing your opinion to standing up for yourself and others. 

Standing up for yourself requires a new form of courage. The kind you haven’t experienced before. It requires making tough choices. It requires raising awareness, so similar things don’t happen to others. Or when they do, they know they are not alone. 

Even though it was the right choice for me, it was painful. Standing up for your values comes at a cost, an emotional and sometimes financial cost. It makes you feel free but also drained. 

Rebuilding Takes Time

It takes time to rebuild once all the noise clears. Our jobs are a large part of our identity, making us wonder about who we are when we leave them. 

These in-between periods though, serve as great reminders of who we are underneath. They force us to focus on what’s truly important. 

I hope my experience helps you in noticing similar patterns in your experience. 

We underestimate the effect our jobs can have on us. We push past our tolerance in the name of being strong. 

The reality is that there are plenty of opportunities where we can be around people that inspire us and make us feel valued. We all have a choice for where we spend most of our day. 

In my case, I am focusing on bringing joy back into my life by doing the things I love.