Be The Best Version Of Yourself, But How To Tell Which One Is best?

Each of us is always striving for improvement. We work on being better at something than where we were a few months ago or years ago. We want to be a better version of ourselves.

Being the best version implies that there are multiple versions of us. But Is there a universal best version out of these versions? The one that works for you and everyone else?

No One Version That Fits All

A recent incident in my life made me realize that there is no one universal version of us that works for everyone. 

I reconnected with a friend from my teenage years after two decades and we quickly became fast friends sharing intimate details of each other’s lives. 

It’s like when you jump headfirst into a relationship without knowing too much about each other. 

After the initial infatuation, you start to realize the differences. 

In this particular case, I didn’t have the advantage of knowing her over the years. About what version of myself I could bring that would work for her. 

We ended up in a situation where our choice of words didn’t work for one another. As a result we were both hurt and confused.

Sometimes what we say might be normal for some but not appropriate for others. How our words are interpreted depends on the other person’s personality. 

If I had the advantage of knowing her over the years, I would have found a way to tune myself in a way that works for her. 

It was a lesson learned that what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. 

Multiple Versions Of Us

We are unconscious to the fact that we have many versions. We think it’s all black and white. I am so and so which means I can only get along with certain types of people. 

The fact is that we have multiple selves of us. We are trained to have these multiple versions since childhood.

The way you are with your parents isn’t necessarily the way you are with your friends or your co-workers or your boss. 

Depending on the other person, we choose to highlight certain aspects of our personality more than the others. Each version has its strength. 

This is not to say that you have to put on an act with each person. It is far from that. I would definitely not advocate for that. Especially since Authenticity is one of my core values. 

It means that you are being yourself but are mindful in the way you present yourself based on the other person’s personality.

How you communicate or explain your point of view can differ based on the other party. 

Choosing Your Version Based On The Other Person

Most relationships made as adults require work. 

There may be people with whom you don’t have to worry about what you say and how you say. This is a rarity and requires deep rooted trust. Usually established over many years of knowing one another.

To maintain all other relationships and successful ones, taking into account their feelings is beneficial to both. 

It requires us to bring a stronger, kinder version of ourselves to the table. 

Let’s say you don’t care much about politics but your friend cares deeply about it. This requires you to be a listener more than anything. Avoiding it completely so you can move on another topic leaves you both in a weird spot. 

Knowing that there can be multiple versions of us might just open up the possibility of many new friendships. 

Ones that don’t require 100% compatibility! Yes they may be more work than others but they also allow you to exercise the side of you that makes you stronger. 

Exercise your compassionate muscle, the listening muscle and the selflessness muscle. All of which are needed to be that best version of ourselves we are always striving to be. 

So next time you think of becoming your best version, let’s remember to be kind to ourself and realize that there are variations to that best depending on what the other person may need from us.

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