Challenging the Status Quo in Housework for a Balanced Life

A recent study shows that women are 28% more likely to experience burnout than working fathers due to the unequal demands of home and work. Women spend more time on household chores like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry, leading to increased stress, burnout, and lost career opportunities.

What if we challenged this status quo and created a balanced division of housework? If we stopped accepting traditional roles and spoke up, we could aim for balanced lives that lead to happiness.

Progress at Work but Not At Home?

Growing up in India, I watched the women in my family take on most of the housework. I always assumed this imbalance would change when women had careers.

The number of marriages in which the husband is the primary earner has significantly decreased in the US. But despite this shift, caused by the increase of women in the workforce, I am often surprised to see so many women carry disproportionate weight on their shoulders regarding housework.

Research shows that women spend 4.5 more hours per week than men doing groceries, prepping meals, laundry, cooking, and providing child care. This imbalance continues despite the benefits of a balanced workload at home, like reduced stress and happier relationships.

A coworker once bragged about his wife handling everything and how they do just fine without him doing much at home. I remember thinking, ‘But I don’t want to do everything’. I refuse to be part of the world with super mom culture.

Instead, I envision a world with a fair distribution of housework and childcare regardless of gender norms. A world that leads to a happier home and work life, allowing women to chase their dreams or be content without any resentments.

Witnessing the Imbalance

Great Place to Work surveyed 440K working parents and found that working women, especially women of color, are more likely to experience burnout than men due to uneven distribution of housework. The study also showed black mothers experience 33% burnout, Asian mothers 30%, Latinx mothers 29%, and white women experience 25% burnout.

As a woman of color, this data strongly resonates with me as I regularly witness this uneven distribution of housework in my immediate and extended circle of women.

I see women taking more initiative during gatherings, whether for cooking, serving, or taking care of children so that spouses can continue their conversations during parties.

I see women taking a back seat in their careers so they can support their spouses in theirs. I see them carry on their careers and manage most of the tasks at home at the cost of missing promotions or experiencing burnout.

And each time I notice this, my heart sinks. It sinks because it reminds me of my mother and grandmother’s roles as primary caregivers, as the ones picking up most of the housework.

Why are so many women continuing to take on these roles without questioning the age-old gender responsibilities? Why aren’t we asking our spouses for more help? Why aren’t we putting our foot down?

To the Women Picking up the Bulk of The Load

To all the women who feel exhausted by picking up the majority of the household tasks at home, it’s not too late to voice your opinion. You must speak up and ask for help to succeed in work and life.

Whenever I have a deadline and can’t be bothered, I communicate it at home so my partner knows to step up. When he is under pressure, I do the same for him. How we divide housework is not based on gender-specific roles but on who can fit it in with everything else they have going on.

Regardless of one’s employment status, there are ways to improve one’s life situation so one doesn’t become exhausted. With clear communication of expectations, you can make small changes even in households where men are the primary earners.

To the Men in the Household

To all the men who do more than their part of sharing an even workload at home, thank you for modeling a true partnership for your children, extended family, and family.

To the men who see their spouses burn out, I hope you step up and help your spouses develop a voice. Please ask them where you can help or anticipate and step in.

The goal does not need to be a 50/50 split for housework but to create a model that works for your household, whether following chore charts, marking things on the calendar, or hiring help.

The important thing is to have mutual empathy, not take on roles just because that’s how things have always been for generations.

Building a Fairer Future

My fellow women, let’s break free from the outdated molds that have shaped us, voice our opinions, and change how we divide household tasks. Change is hard, but small steps can make it possible.

Begin having conversations with your partner about balancing your household tasks. With clear communication and patience, you can get more help and avoid stress and burnout.

Changing your life affects not just you but also paves the way for all women in the coming generations. So begin your journey today and start marching toward a life of reduced stress and increased happiness.