Breaking Free for a Weekend: Recharging from Motherhood Without Guilt

Recently, I took a mini weekend vacation to a nearby coastal town less than two hours from where I live. I needed time for myself where I wasn’t involved in day-to-day responsibilities. 

Since I arrived too early to check in, I drove straight to the beach. I pulled over, walked down to the beach, and began my long walk. I was in a jacket since it’s chilly, but the sun made it feel ten degrees warmer. 

The Beach Walk

I began walking on the sandy beach, with the sound of the waves as my companion. I let out a deep breath. Something about the ocean calms me, makes me forget about my daily life, and puts me in tranquility. 

The beach is not too crowded, with a few walking their dogs. A lab runs straight into the ocean to fetch the mini log its owner threw. I became concerned, wondering if I went too far.

Can he swim? But he grabbed the log and made his way back to his owner. He set it down, gave a wet dog shake, and looked at the parent as if to say, again. The guy repeated this activity several times. 

After an hour or so, I walked up to the street and sat on a bench to stare into the ocean some more. More dogs are playing fetch but with balls this time. Ten or more surfers were waiting to catch a wave. I had never seen so many in this part of the town. February must be time to surf. 

Table for One, Please

Satisfied with my time at the beach, I looked for a place to eat. Somewhere I haven’t eaten before, I tell myself. I wanted new experiences. I found a place downtown and walked into it. It’s cozy with Valentine’s Day decorations and dim lights. It’s a great place to go with girlfriends.

Table for one, I say proudly when the host approaches. It’s not something I get to say often. I get comfortable and place the order. I take pictures of the beautifully presented food to share with my family. 

The hostess tells me, ‘I love it when people take time out for themselves.’ Yes, I said. It’s my weekend getaway. I needed a break from being a mom. Her smile instantly changes to a neutral expression.

I don’t know what went through her mind at that point. I wondered if she was judging me for wanting time away from being a mom. I don’t pay any attention to it, and after our small talk, she walks away to attend to someone else, and I grab leftovers and leave the restaurant. 

Expectations around Motherhood

I got a text saying my room was ready and decided to check in to the hotel. After a brief rest, I head out towards downtown for a stroll. I stepped into a store, and the friendly owner made a small talk. Here for the weekend, that’s great, she says.

I am always running around doing things for my child. I needed a little break from being a mom, I said. And there was that expression again—the questionable look. Yes, I remember those days, she said. It’s good that kids are busy, she says.

I browse the store some more and leave after a few minutes. But these expressions stick with me. Did these ladies wish for the same break? Or do they think it isn’t something you do while the kids are still at home?

Whenever I tell my mom about my trips, I feel like I have to justify it. Oh, how will they manage alone? Was your husband ok with it? She asks. Is taking a break as a mother so wrong? 

When I am home, I am always thinking about my child. Is it snack time? What do I make for dinner? Does he need help with schoolwork? Did he have a good day at school?

There are a billion thoughts that go through my mind. It sometimes is exhausting. After giving and giving, I need to recharge before I can give again. As a writer, I need alone time that can feed into my creativity.

A Culinary Escape

After walking around town for a bit, I head into an Indonesian restaurant for dinner. I ordered spring rolls and curry with nasi goreng for the main course.

The food looked appealing on a large wooden board with curry in a bowl and rice on its side. Each bite took me back to memories of our family’s trip to Bali, where I fell in love with the Indonesian fried rice.

As I savored my dinner, I saw the restaurant staff carrying various boards like mine to each table. People were delighted to see this presentation and eager to dig in.

I look around and realize the only one sitting alone at the table. It wasn’t too busy, and I preferred it to a bar seating. I enjoyed my meal alongside a mini book I picked up at the local bookstore. I finish my meal and head back to the hotel.

Recharged and Ready

I took another walk on the street along the beach the following day. There were houses on one side with floor-to-ceiling windows facing the ocean and the beach on the other. I walk past the houses with unique names and envy their proximity to the majestic ocean.

I end my trip with brunch at a Korean restaurant, trying things I have never eaten before, and order a few leftovers for my family to enjoy when I get home. I return home rested, with mental images of the beauty I experienced that would keep me going for a while.

Do you take time for yourself without feeling guilty? Do you recognize the need to take time off as a parent before you feel burnt out?

My mini trips, even just for a weekend, are invaluable. I don’t feel guilty for exploring the town on my terms and soaking in the California sun and the magnificent ocean views. What if we normalize alone time that doesn’t raise eyebrows? Just like the waves of the ocean, what if we take the time to retreat and return?