What Weight Should You Be For You to Like Yourself More?

I have a closet full of dresses that don’t fit. “You should give them away. It’s not healthy to keep them,” someone said.

It isn’t? But I like them too much to part from them. It’s a collection of office wear, summer dresses, Indian clothes like salwars, lehengas, and sarees. I don’t have a thing for cars or handbags or jewelry, but clothes, that’s something I’ve always loved.

Parting with them feels like admitting I’ll never return to my old weight.

When Life Happened

Moving to a new state, dealing with COVID, losing my social life, and finding my new identity all contributed to my stress. DoorDash became my new friend.

I was exercising without changing my eating patterns. Losing weight can’t be that difficult, right? I had done it before. But I quickly realized losing fifteen pounds wasn’t so easy.

The worst part: I never embraced my new body. It changed how I approach clothes.

Chasing an Impossible Standard

I became more conservative about the number of clothes I buy in my new size. What’s the point? I’d have to give them away once I get into my old clothes, I thought.

And before I knew it, 5 years had passed. Yet, my old wardrobe is still way larger than my new clothes. Then it hit me. What Weight Should I Be to Make Me Like Myself?

Size 4-6, I tell myself. That’s what most of my old clothes are. But then I realized, even when I was that weight, I was never satisfied.

“Ah, if only I could lose those 3 pounds, it would be perfect.”, I would tell myself. There was never a time when I was perfect.

Everyone’s a Critic

One time, I had just finished a half-marathon and was feeling good about myself. When I visited home in India, an old friend commented, “You look so skinny. Why did you lose so much weight?”

“What are you talking about? I just finished a race, I feel great,” I said. So even when I thought I felt good, it wasn’t good in someone else’s eyes.

Most recently, when I saw a relative, the first thing they said after hello was, “You’ve gained so much weight.”

Indians have a way of making such comments without considering how they might affect the other person. It wasn’t intended as an insult, but rather a concern and a way to ask what happened.

The comment hit a nerve since it was already on my mind all the time; I didn’t need someone else to be critical of me. I was already self-critical.

When Thoughts Become Truth

I can’t remember how many times I have heard girlfriends complain about their weight. Either they are too thin or they are too heavy. I’ve hardly come across someone who said, I feel great right now.

Sometimes it’s double chin, sometimes in the mid area or the legs, but no one is ever perfectly pleased with themselves.

The thin line comes when our perceptions begin to impact our confidence. If we let our thoughts and other perceptions take over, they begin to dictate how we feel about ourselves.

Despite these weight loss struggles, I realize I still do like myself, even if I don’t fit into my old clothes. I always knew that life’s stages are seasonal. Some seasons are longer than others.

I’ve come back from other challenging situations in life, and I will figure out a way out of this and become healthy again.

From Punishment to Joy

My new weight came with a set of health problems like pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, and tendonitis. I desperately needed to change my lifestyle.

Instead of obsessing about losing weight, I decided it should be a byproduct of doing what I love, whether it is running or dancing.

I also started learning about nutrition and ancient practices like Ayurveda, discovering how food can be medicine rather than just calories.

I wish schools had taught me how blueberries could nourish me, rather than engineering graphics, which I barely remember.

My journey led me to take on a challenge like training for a half-marathon. Ten years ago, this wouldn’t have been a challenge, but with my tendon pain, I have to approach it carefully.

It gives meaning to my fitness. I added strength training as a way to cross-train. Even things I once dreaded, like weight training, have become joyful and purposeful.

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When I look at my old clothes now, they are not about fitting a specific size; they are about getting back to a healthy weight. Getting into cute dresses is just a byproduct.

It’s not about what you need to do to lose weight, but the activities that make you happier. Then the gym doesn’t feel like a punishment — it becomes an extension of yourself and your well-being.

The real milestone isn’t fitting into the right dress or hitting some magic number on the scale. It’s looking in the mirror and being happy with yourself, for once.

Do we ever stop chasing the perfect weight? How do you approach your body, your expectations, and your acceptance?