Lonely Not Alone: A Tale of Belonging, Finding Strength & Joy in Chicago

Not too long ago, I woke up on a plane expecting to see the familiar view of Chicago outside my window. Instead, I found myself staring at the unfamiliar sight of San Francisco – my new home. This unexpected view triggered a flood of emotions, prompting me to reflect on my loneliness while adapting to a new state. 

In this post, I share my journey back to Chicago, a story of rediscovering past connections, regaining strength, and a sense of belonging amidst loneliness. 

It’s been three years since my move, but I realized that my mind and heart still belonged to my old hometown of Chicago. After all, it was my home for close to two decades. 

When I moved to California, I told myself that this was my new home and that I needed to embrace it, adapt, and make new connections. I just needed to be patient; building a new life takes time. 

But, despite the self-talk, adapting to a new city was challenging. Even though my move was within the same country, everything felt different. We had to get familiar with our new neighborhood, remember the street names, and understand our new way of life. We needed to build our social life again, which required effort.

In addition, Leaving my corporate job to pursue my passion came at the cost of losing my day to conversations with co-workers. If I didn’t make any effort, my husband and son would be the only two people I spoke to all week. My new situation left me feeling lonely and isolated.

My unexpected view from the flight made me realize how much I missed my old home.

Longing for Home & Connections

Over the years, I had made plenty of connections in Chicago that filled my life with joy. I longed for those friendships, conversations with next-door neighbors, and co-workers I have gotten to know over time. 

I longed to drive on the familiar streets where I didn’t have to use a GPS to go from place to place. I missed stopping by the neighborhood target and eating at my favorite joints. 

I missed the beautiful Chicago skyline, its vibrancy, and all the memories I had there made over the years. I missed taking the Blue Line to the city, walking down the streets of the loop, and lunches with co-workers. 

I missed my old neighborhood and the impromptu front yard chats with neighbors. I missed watching the neighborhood kids who grew up before me. I missed all those block parties, easter egg hunts, and Halloween trick-or-treating. I missed belonging to a loving community that cared for one another.

So, I decided that it was time to recharge myself. I needed it to survive and adapt to my new hometown. It was time to visit Chicago and see some of my closest friends. 

I booked a trip and looked forward to it, even if it was just for a weekend. I curated two special days to help me feel connected and loved again. 

A Heartfelt Journey through Familiar Streets

When I reached Chicago, I rented a car at the airport and set the GPS to one of my favorite eating joints. The GPS woman guided me to the expressway as I headed out of the airport. But instead, I chose to ignore her and do what I would have usually done if I lived there. 

I drove straight to my old community, only a few minutes from the airport. My heart swelled with joy as I passed my neighborhood target, less than a minute from our old home. It was a store my son was intimately familiar with, where we brought everything from his baby food to school supplies as he grew older. 

I turned into my old street and parked beside my old home in the guest parking lot. I stared at it for a few minutes, taking it all in. I was coming back the next day to meet all the neighbors, but I had to follow my heart, and that was where it took me. 

Over those two days, I spent time with an old friend, bonding over heartfelt conversations and exploring downtown. The familiar train stations and the sounds of the El trains took me back to my commute to work. The streets bustled with crowds dressed in traditional Mexican dresses and cars waving the Mexican flag and shouting ‘Viva Mexico’ to celebrate Mexican Independence Day. 

As we strolled along the river walk, we found people bonding over food and drinks at riverside restaurants, visitors enjoying the architecture boat ride, and mariachis playing music to celebrate the special occasion.

We had to make way for all the runners along the path as we walked. It took me back to the countless races I ran around this city. There was a piece of me at every corner of the city.

The next day, I hung out with my neighbors, sharing food and laughs like old times. We were each from various parts of the world, but we bonded over shared experiences in life.

At that table were a decade of memories with the girlfriends I had connected with in various ways. Whether it was watching my kid on the block while I finished dinner, picking him up if I was running late, or going on a neighborhood bike ride to take my mind off things, they were always there for me.

We watched our kids grow together, learn to ride their bikes, and reach each milestone. Now, they have all grown to become beautiful young adults. Yet, they will always be the same age as when I left them a few years ago. Before I knew it, my trip ended, and I said my goodbyes and boarded my plane back to California.

Finding Strength among Connections & Embracing the Future

When I returned home, I carried with me not just the warmth of cherished memories but a renewed sense of purpose. My trip wasn’t just a journey back in time; it was a revelation that though I may feel lonely, I am not alone. Though distant, the connections I had made remained close to my heart, which knew no boundaries. 

My trip wasn’t just a reminder of my past but a source of strength for the future. As I navigate my path ahead in my new town, forming new connections and experiences, I carry with me a sense of belonging to Chicago and its people, who have shaped me into who I am.

So, as you read this, please take a moment. Reflect on your own connections, places you hold close to your heart, and the people who have shaped you. 

The next time you get lost in the rhythm of life, remember to call that friend, take that long-postponed trip, and walk down your memory lane. You will find not only solace but a renewed strength to embrace life. You will discover in those moments of loneliness that you are never truly alone.