7 Life Lessons I Wish I Learned Earlier

As I am about to enter a new decade of my life I started pondering about a few key lessons I learned along the way which I wish I knew earlier. There is so much emphasis on achieving key milestones in life like getting into the right schools, finding a good job, marriage, kids, etc but a few basic things that are not explicitly taught seem to hold a lot of value as I look back.

1. Standing Up for Yourself: This may come naturally to some but for some this can be a constant struggle depending on your personality. For me, It was at work where I developed my voice and learnt how to stand up for myself after many learning experiences.

If you’ve had this on your mind for a while, start by voicing your opinion on small things. It can start with something as small as agreeing with someone on your team, then slowly working up to expressing your own point of view on a casual or work topic. When you are comfortable hearing your own voice and are confident in expressing your own view you will reach a point when you can raise your voice even in unpleasant situations when you feel someone is being disrespectful or taking you for granted.

Who are you - picture of scrabble letters that spell who are you

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

2. Self-Awareness: You can live your whole life and not know who you are. It’s through experiences you learn what makes you happy, what doesn’t work for you, your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing yourself gives you clarity and allows you to live a richer life and have meaningful connections. Seek experts help in getting to know you, a therapist’s view may differ from a life coach or a spiritual teacher.

Try everything and decide what works for you! Indulge in experiences that allow you the opportunity for self discovery. Run, Box, Meditate, Cook, Read or Dance, whatever it takes to find the real you! For some this can happen early on and for some it can take a lifetime! Either is ok!

3. Know Your Values: A life coach once asked me if I knew what my values are. I hadn’t given this much thought until then! You are so busy planning your careers, raising kids, setting goals and this is something that doesn’t naturally come to mind. Values are things like Authenticity, Stability, Empathy, etc and they differ for each person. Life presents a wide array of opportunities where you are constantly making decisions. Values can provide us direction when you are unsure and guide you in the way you have always wanted to live your life.

Scott Jeffrey in his 7 Steps to Discovering Personal Core Values (link below) guides you through a step by step process on identifying values and also how to ensure we are living by them. I personally found his exercise easier than some of the other resources online.

4. Taking Care of Mental Health:

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This one is extremely dear to me! We can let life happen to us and go where the wind is taking us or train our minds so we are in control of our emotions. So many of us constantly live in the past or future, training our minds through meditation helps us live more in the present and be better prepared when life throws curve balls at us.

I went through really tough experiences where I was too proud to seek help! Instead I accepted suffering and developed resilience. I was too young and unaware to know that it’s ok to seek expert guidance! You don’t always have to suffer just because you are resilient!

I love Helen’s Reddy phrase from ‘I am woman’ song,

Oh yes I am wise

But it’s wisdom born of pain

Yes, I’ve paid the price

But look how much I gained

I have listed some valuable resources at the bottom of this post that have helped me in my journey.

5. Nutritional Awareness: As much as it is important to take care of your mind it’s important to take care of your body and you learn that the hard way sometimes! Nutritional awareness is one thing that can be deep rooted back to your childhood. How you look at food, think of food and the food choices you make are habits that are formed very early on. Just like we pass on other wisdom to your offsprings this I realized is also up there along with others so they can make healthy choices and pass it on when it’s their turn.

6. Financial Literacy:

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

This one is tricky! There are a ton of resources out there on financial literacy. Yet one can go on and on without much knowledge! Women I find are especially victims of this! We can spend hours working hard earning money but not even a fraction of that time managing the money! Most think that’s the partner’s role or just the thought of it may be intimidating! I am a victim to this myself and have made it my personal goal to change this in the next few years!

7. Support System: Lastly, this one was an eye opener for me! Marriage and parenting can get you so caught up in life that you may not realize the value of building a support system you can rely on. Beyond your spouse who is in your support system? Is there a group of people you can rely on who would drop everything and be there for you? For some this is family for some it’s a mixture of friends and family or just friends. You need that person who provides career advice, person that provides emotional support, person that makes you laugh! Invest in your relationships and make those lifelong connections.

What are some life lessons you wished you learnt earlier? Would love to hear your story!

Resources that I have relied on that you may find helpful:

Mental Health:
1. Headspace or Calm App for daily meditation.
2. Talks from Spiritual leaders like Mingyur Rinpoche on Awareness, meditation.
3. Matthieu Richard on developing life’s most important skill (Happiness).
Self-Awareness: Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (My personal favorite, one you will come back to repeatedly).
Values:
1. 7 steps to Discovering your Personal Core Values by Scott Jeffrey, out of the many articles online, this one is clear and easy to follow.
2. Personal Values: How to Know Who You Really Are – A lengthy but worthy read! In this article, Mark Manson dives deep in to how values are formed in childhood, how to change values and the impact of constructive vs destructive values.