6 Absolutely Essential Qualities You Want In A Partner

What do you think of when you think of love? Is it the Nicholas Sparks version? Love is always portrayed in popular media as a fairytale kind, someone sweeping you off your feet. The true soulmate kind. 

Believe me, I am a sucker for all of these things too. Rom-coms are my favorite genre and I own a few of these books like Dear John, Message in a bottle, Last letter from your lover and so on. 

What they don’t show in most of these movies is what happens after the guy gets the girl or after lovers unite. The love that is shared beyond those initial years of infatuation. 

In one of my recent posts I talked about how having a strong inner core is key for achieving success. A key part of building that inner core is having the right partner to share your life with. 

Trust me when I say this I am no expert in this area! I just happen to have a few thoughts that I think are worth sharing. I have been married for many years but it’s far from perfect. I just happened to be with a guy who wants to love me in spite of all my flaws!

One person’s list of must-haves in a person absolutely differs from the other and it should. The important thing before finding someone is to know yourself. Self-awareness is the key. Knowing what makes you happy and what values are important to you. 

Beyond that, there are a few key qualities that apply universally to everyone and that’s what I intend to share with this post.

1. Self-awareness – I talked about how important it is to know yourself. I think it’s equally important to find someone who knows themselves. Keep in mind not many know themselves. This process takes most of adulthood. 

Finding someone who has an open mind and is always learning how they can re-tune to be their best version is important. 

2. Communication – You may know yourself all you want but if you aren’t able to articulate it to your partner it doesn’t work in your favor. Finding the one who is able to communicate and wants to communicate when things get tough so you can talk things out is a crucial quality. 

Not many are good at this but it’s a skill that can be perfected over time, after all we are all communicating at every point with family, with co-workers, etc. 

3. Respect – I can’t stress this enough! Respect is non-negotiable. You would think it’s a given but a lot of people don’t seem to realize this. Mutual respect is critical. It is not a one-way thing. 

Depending on your background, this may seem like one of those traits that is dismissible. Oh, they are just in a phase. They are just moody. No matter the phase, disrespect isn’t ok.

4. Perseverance – This is a rare quality but key to longevity. Find someone who doesn’t give up easily. You can spot this by noticing them in their passions, do they keep going no matter what? Do they have long term friendships? 

Find a fighter who doesn’t accept defeat easily so when you hit a rocky road or in those chaotic situations of being a new parent they are with you every step of the way.

5. Team Player – Finding someone who is a team player goes a long way in life. Have a deadline? Can your partner pick up the load? Do the double shift? Do the things you normally take care of? 

Regardless of what each of you may naturally be good at, there comes a point in life where you may have to swap roles to support each other’s goals. This may be a school/work project or your child’s school fundraiser event. A team player will do what is needed for the team to get you to success. 

6. Acceptance – Can they accept you the way you are? Leaving room for your own metamorphosis? We all have dreams of how we want our partner to be. Change is something that has to come from within or it is hard to sustain long term. Finding someone that is aware of this is essential. 

Real life begins after the happily ever after ends in movies. When it does, you want the one that supports you in life’s ups and downs. So before you make that commitment, look for these key characteristics in your romantic partner along with whatever else is on your list.

What is the most important thing you value in your current/future partner? What’s your non-negotiable? Would love to hear your thoughts!