5 Valuable Lessons I Learnt After My Emotional Layoff Experience

It isn’t easy to stay sane and stable when you lose your job. It was hard to keep calm when I experienced my first layoff a few years ago. With so many people losing their jobs around me, it brings back all the emotions I experienced. In this post, I welcome you to my story and the lessons I learned as a result of my layoff. 

I started a new job at a small company a couple of years ago. Despite not knowing much about the organization, I took the job. I was interested in the field, and working for a smaller company seemed a great way to learn. 

The pandemic hit two months into the job, and the company told everyone to work from home. I, along with many others, did not know what to anticipate. Then, in a group meeting, the executives told us the company had to lay off some people to remain profitable. So if impacted, we would be getting a call. 

Not long after, my phone rang. I listened to my boss telling me she was sorry and had to let me go. I took the call well and thanked her for the opportunity. 

Only after I had processed the news the emotions started to kick in. I had left a company that valued me for this new job. I was nowhere ready to begin the job search process so soon. 

Until then, I had only left jobs out of my will. I had never experienced something like this. A myriad of things went through my mind. How could they lay me off? I have been an asset in every place I have worked so far. 

I let people know about it and began my job search again. I quickly realized looking for a job after a layoff is very different than searching while I am still employed. I was angry. I felt the need to prove myself to others.

Series Of Poor Choices

After the job loss, I did everything I wouldn’t usually do when looking for a job. I was desperate and insecure. I felt I needed some extra help in putting my profile out there. 

I began to look for a career coach. Some of whom I spoke to were really good. But instead, I ended up with someone purely based on their sales tactics. It was one of those, buy the package before the offer runs out on the weekend type of situations. 

I need something different this time around, I told myself. But, I quickly realized that the sessions were different from what I wanted or needed. They didn’t know my field, and I wasn’t getting much value. So I let go of the money and continued searching on my own. 

I had applied to some of the biggest companies during my job search process. My ego was hurt, and at the time, getting some social validation seemed like a great way to show the world what I was capable of.

I heard back from a couple of the big companies. I had applied to one of the jobs, not fully understanding what it was. When I went through the interview process, I realized it was not in the engineering or product organization I was usually part of. 

I accepted the offer not because it was a great match but because the company would look good on my resume. Even though I enjoyed what I was working on, I quickly realized I ended up with a manager with less experience than me and a department that wasn’t the right fit. Thinking back, I wouldn’t have made the same choice if I wasn’t so vulnerable from my layoff.

Valuable Lessons From My Layoff Experience

1. Self-doubt Is Normal

My last few years of meditation taught me that emotions are fleeting. But right after the job loss, I did not know how to make sense of my emotions. I didn’t know that it’s normal to feel angry after any major setback and that it’s normal to doubt your capabilities. It’s normal to wonder if you could have done anything differently to avoid the misery.

2. Determining Our Self-worth

I experienced desperation and instability when I lost my job because I tied much of my self-worth to my work. I defined myself largely by where I was working and what I was doing. 

I ignored all the other parts that made me who I am. I ignored my personal growth and everything I overcame to be who I am. My experiences taught me to view my life based on the values that matter to me. I now realize work is a big part of my values but not the only one.

3. Making Good Decisions

Whenever I experienced any loss, I was not in any position to make intelligent decisions immediately after. Whether it is the loss of a job or relationship, it shakes our confidence and impacts our ability to choose well. 

Over time, I have learned that it’s ok not to know what comes next. I have learned that it’s ok to take my time and not jump on the first thing that comes along. So when I quit my last corporate job, I took my time to figure out what I wanted to do next. This extra time gave me the clarity I needed, leading to my writing and helping people live meaningful lives. 

4. Asking The Right Questions 

When you are ready to move on, I learned that it is essential to ask the right questions. Is this role aligned with my long-term path? Is this how I want to make an impact in this world? Does the organization’s mission align with my own? Do I want this position for myself or because it looks good to others?

5. Trust The Process

I have learned that if I trust the process, I will find something that best suits me. I have learned not to take job rejections personally. Each one provides clarity on any skills you need and the job that is the right fit.

Our experiences teach us things about ourselves that we do not know. They tell us that we can bounce back no matter what happens. No matter the reason for a job loss, this setback doesn’t stop us from creating our mark in the world. 

We mourn, learn and get back up again. If you have lost your job, know that you are not alone. Know that you can land on your feet again with careful and patient planning. Know that the people who love you will continue to do so regardless of your situation.